it's nothing, really.

of course it's something! if not, why would i blog it?

the real meaning of everything:

bila aku cakap: "i saje je call"
maksudnya: "i miss your voice, and i miss talking to you"

bila aku cakap: "i am bored"
maksudnya: "let's spend time together"

bila aku cakap: "u dah makan? i belum"
maksudnya: "let's go out and grab some food"

bila aku cakap: "i feel like eating pizza"
maksudnya: "well i wanna eat pizza cause u like it, so let's eat!"

bila aku cakap: "u're cute"
maksudnya: "u're freaking cute!"

bila aku cakap: "u're not fat"
maksudnya: "u're my type"

bila aku cakap: "i'm forever alone. hahaha"
maksudnya: "i'm forever alone :("

bila aku cakap: "pegi la makan"
maksudnya: "please eat something, i dont want u to get sick"

bila aku cakap: "u gilaa"
maksudnya: "u're fun! :)"

bila aku cakap: "i'm okay, dont worry"
maksudnya: "i'm sad, and i don't want u to know. cause it's about u"

bila aku cakap: "nanti u nak rumah macam mana?"
maksudnya: "nanti u nak rumah macam mana? let's build our house together"

bila aku cakap: "u'll find the right one soon"
maksudnya: "are u blind? i'm standing right in front of u"

bila aku cakap: "byee"
maksudnya: "u have to go now? :( hope this conversation never ends. i really wanna spend my time with u. minutes, hours, days, years, i wanna spend my whole life with u. yeah u might think i'm a psychotic freak, but yeah that's what i wanna do. i'm gonna miss u, and hope to talk to u soon. take care, and goodbye"

....................................................................................................

i don't mean to lie, really. but this what she wanted. to treat her as a friend and not more than that. if i tell the truth about every single thing that i do, i don't think she can handle it, not anymore. and by being a complete honest, i barely lost her, once. and i don't want to lose her. well this is the best that i can do.